Fake Extrovert

Listen/Watch the video version, but be warned, the video version has cursing.  This article has been purged of profanity.

How to Be a Fake Extrovert

  • Smile and greet everybody.
  • Ask how people’s days are going
  • Give high fives to people who like that stuff.
    • >> Handshakes and fist bumps are okay too.
  • Stand with a tall posture; no slouched shoulders.
  • Eliminate uncomfortable silence.

Because, after all, uncomfortable silence is like Kryptonite to extroverts. And, YES! That’s my cynicism.

Okay, so maybe I’m being a little facetious.

I’m naturally an introvert but depending on the situation, I can also be an extrovert.

The problem I find with Introvert/Extrovert descriptions of people is that they assign labels. You get labelled. I just labelled myself an introvert.

I’m a personal trainer and I’m a powerlifter.

These labels have a tendency to force us into a box. And although it is true most of the time, it isn’t always. Labeling is limiting.

I just said I’m an introvert. So that means that I must do what introverts do. Do I need to stereotype myself? Of course I DON’T.

BUT… Here’s the BUT:

By calling myself introverted, I subconsciously box myself in. I mentally encase myself into an identity of a word.

We are humans. And as humans, we are highly adaptable, multifaceted creatures. If we’ve grown up and lived our life in a certain way, there’s no reason that we have to keep living that way if we don’t want to. WE are FREE. Free to MAKE A CHOICE.

I watched the Avengers: Age of Ultron on Wednesday – and it was good. And, there’s this quote that really got stuck in my head. I forgot who said it. If you know, please make a comment.

“We ultimately create what we fear.”

I’m probably paraphrasing, but, we bring to reality what we fear. This ties into another quote that I love.

“You become what you think about most.”

And during my dark periods, during my hard times, I didn’t think about anything good. This is why I’m constantly listening to podcasts, YouTube channels and audio books.

My fears consume me and they eat at me. I am my own worst enemy in real life and under the barbell. But it’s through conquering the fear that brings us to life.

Although I have introverted tendencies, I also know that I have extroverted tendencies. I have to remind myself that I’m constantly changing. I’m changing because I’m making myself better.

I don’t squat, bench, and deadlift to lift the exact same weight for the same number of reps every week. I lift to become mentally strong and physically strong.

If I were to keep telling myself that I’m a powerlifter, I’m introverted, or whatever, it will subconsciously implant ideas in my mind that I MUST ACT and THINK in a certain way.

The same thing goes if I were not a powerlifter or if I was a type of extrovert. I would mold o the stereotype.

I’m Ryan.

You are? … well who are you?

What’s your name?” Just say “I am … x

You can be whatever the you choose to be. Of course, you still need to have self-awareness.

The reason why I call this video or article Fake Extrovert is because, for a big chunk of my life and early in my career as a personal trainer, I forced myself to become an extrovert.

I got promoted. I got more clients. But, it was draining. It was fatiguing and it was like I was trying to be something I’m not. I could do it because it helped my business and my job, but it also ruined me.

Now, I’m in a better place and I’ve never been happier.